We create dis-ease when we move out of alignment with our Higher Self
I’d been having a good year. This year was numerologically my year of destiny. I was confident that it was going to be a super year all year!
I started a series of six-day online meditation retreats and while doing them I retreated myself in my home without leaving or mixing with the outside world. This was the most amazing thing I could do. My only contact with the outside world was with my online group.
There was to be a series of four six-day retreats over four months. I completed two and then because I live in Egypt and Ramadan was approaching, I decided to commit to a month-long retreat and fast to meditate in sync with my fellow Egyptians who were partaking in Ramadan. I found it super easy, and I feel that was because I was so spiritually ready for it. In years past I had attempted but not got passed the first couple of days. This year was different. I found it to be awesome. I didn’t struggle at all with not drinking water throughout the day, nor not eating and I don’t really have anything else to give up. I ate normal in the evenings and got up at dawn to drink three glasses of water and eat three dates ready to start another day of fasting.
I didn’t sleep much during the fast, I was on an absolute high. I probably slept on average about two hours a day. Unlike my usual not sleeping, where I just can’t work through the night, this was different. I found I was super productive, both day and night and my energies were at an all-time high.
So, for 3 months I was on a spiritual high, living on a state of bliss, and then, it happened….
Just as Ramadan finished, my twin flame went into his usual toxic behaviour and I let it affect me. I came crashing down from my all-time high and landed right back in my ego! Now this is where I have to face the reality. I couldn’t deal with it and so I decided to leave the country and hightail it out of there, back to the land of my birth and home of my children for some ever-loving comfort.
It’s a long series of flights back to Australia and all in all some 24 hours plus before arriving. It was when I was in Kuala Lumpa, the last leg of my journey, when while waiting at the Gate a young man came and sat next to me. He started coughing. I knew immediately, and I looked at him and said “Covid”. He replied, “sorry” and that was it. Stupidly didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I just sat there, I didn’t get up and walk away, I didn’t put myself first, I sat there and soaked up all his spike protein.
I arrived in Perth and two days later on Mother's Day, I came down with Covid. Now, I’ve had Covid before and while the headaches are excruciating, I assumed all would pass, all in good time. Two weeks passed and I was getting sicker and weaker and still I thought surely it will pass soon.
Two weeks in and I woke up with pain in my left lung. At first, I thought I must have pulled a muscle, and then my intuition said “pneumonia”.
My son and my daughter had been trying to get me to go to the Doctor for over a week, but I didn’t want anyone to come close enough to catch covid, so I just kept waiting it out. But this pain was getting intense, so I finally called the health line. She said I needed to go to emergency immediately.
That’s what happened. I arranged for a lift to Emergency and after a long wait, they found I had double pneumonia, gave me a script for antibiotics and sent me home. On the way home, the pain started again and by the time I got in the house the pain was unbearable. I rang the health line again and she insisted I went back to Emergency.
Feeling sorry for being a bother, I called my lift and headed back to Emergency. Again, after a long wait, they admitted me to hospital and two days later and a CT scan they told me I had Pulmonary Embolism on top of my double pneumonia caused from the Covid and the long flight. Now it was serious because they said the clots were severe and they had missed it because I didn’t look like someone who would have clots, I was too fit. I was committed to total bed rest and a week in hospital before being discharged to go home. Still very weak, but out of danger I came home, my daughter flew in from India to keep an eye on me and my recovery has begun.
I had plenty of time to reflect while in hospital. I’m an energy worker, I know we create most of our own illnesses and I knew I had created this one.
At first, I went into blame that my twin flame had caused me so much stress he had weakened me, but the reality is that I created this all by myself and he was just the mirror to trigger me to get there.
Acknowledging Illness belongs to the Ego
I’ve learned a lot from this close call. For days I wondered what my plight was to be. Before I left Egypt, I had been hearing the song “I still call Australia home” in my sleep and the repeated line of that song that also kept coming was “it’s good to know where the journey ends”.
I was so angry with my twin flame at the time, that I naturally assumed that this was the end and I needed to choose me and let go of the past 8 years that were just not working. It was holding me back. However, when I got so sick, and every time I closed my eyes I would spiral down, down, down a deep dark tunnel and then feel as if I were being pushed at great speed through the hospital corridors, seeking to know where to take me next, I began to wonder if my life was going to end in Australia. The seriousness of my condition was also emphasized when the Drs kept asking me if I understood how serious it was.
I began to be afraid to close my eyes, because every time I did, I couldn’t open them again while I was rushing down the dark tunnel until all of a sudden, I’d have a jolting breath and I’d be back. I did not see any light at the end of the tunnel, just the great unknown.
This is not the first time I have created discord in my physical due to my twin flame. On two previous occasions over the last eight years, I tried to disconnect. I know better than that, but the ego sometimes has just had enough.
On both occasions I dislocated my hip and couldn’t walk for over a week. The second time it happened, some two years after the first time, I realised I’d done it before while in the same state and that I should be more conscious of distancing rather than separating. We have had union for 8 years, but it is not a bed of roses. We do not have harmony most of the time, I am too far one way in the spiritual and he is too far the other way in the ego and often his ego is so powerful it pulls me into mine.
My trusty psychic had also said to me, “don’t try to separate again, because bad things can happen”. But alas my ego rose up out of its sleep and took over. Now I am reminded that he is my greatest teacher and I need to find better ways to deal with his very unhealed self.
Illness belongs to the Ego, because illness or any kind of discord means we have separated from the One Source of the All that is. It’s not just about the twin flame. I was so in harmony with my own Higher Self, so in inner Union, so in the state of Bliss and yet, I gave over my power to my ego, and I came crashing down.
Of what use is a twin flame if not to teach us to say goodbye to the ego. It doesn’t mean we have to live with them, to be in relationship with them. This I plead is not healthy for me. But it does mean that we must build stronger boundaries and a stronger sense of self-love, not allowing anything to sway us away from our true alignment and embodiment with our Higher Self.
I’ve been on the ascension journey a long time. I’ve embodied a divine frequency and I know how to share it with others to raise their levels of consciousness and yet, there is still someone on this planet who can cut me off at the knees and bring me tumbling down.
If having a twin flame is about mastery, boy oh boy, mine is a good task master. I am forever in the classroom, learning and failing, sometimes learning and passing, and then again, learning but failing. I pick myself up and keep going hoping that this time, I will not have to go in for another round!
I’m home now, resting, reflecting and taking time to come back to my most powerful self, renewed….
I am still to figure out how it all fits with my year of destiny, but my destiny vibration is 104/5 which suggest finding freedom and liberation through alignment of body, heart, mind and soul.
Reflect when you are experiencing discord or illness… where did you allow your ego to take control?
When dis-ease comes knocking at your door, it will stay until you get the message. Take a moment and reflect upon how illness belongs to the ego and how you played the key role in creating this physical imbalance. Once you return to the frequency of love and you have understood the message, the dis-ease will leave.
I hope this article helps you in some way!
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Hi, I’m Christina.
I’m a twin flame coach, ascension meditation teacher, Guardian of the LUXOR Light Ascension Frequency and Founder and Creator of LUXOR Light Ascension Program, a 24th dimension frequency transference program that enables you to fully embody your own unique frequencies, bring you into full inner union and reunite with your Twin Flame. If you would like to know if you have met your twin flame you can order a Twin Flame Analysis here. I am also a Light Codes Specialist working to bring union and harmony within through the light codes which in turn assists reunions with Twin Flames. I am the Author of “Birthing a New Reality, a Search for the Beloved” which is the second book in a series of three related to ascension and Twin Flames. It is available on Amazon.