Is your Twin Flame displaying narcissistic behaviours?
If you are on the twin flame journey, you will most likely have needed to go searching for answers because it can at times drive you insane. A twin flame relationship is more often than not, not the idealized relationship that many twin flame writers will tell you. Twin Flames are human and can carry the same flaws as any other individual.
The twin flame connection is usually described as being two individuals connected on a soul level, whose souls mirror each other, reflecting not only their deep love for one another, but also their deepest wounds.
It’s a total misconception that a twin flame cannot be a narcissist. Twin flames are considered to be working toward mastery, it’s not all about romantic relationships. Imagine, one twin flame, who has accomplished a high degree of spiritual growth and don’t appear to be “rattled” by much. Nothing seems to touch them. But because they are living the human experience, there is still some wounding, some ego, buried deep within them and the challenges are just not there anymore to trigger and bring them up.
Oops, in walks a twin flame with strong narcissistic tendencies and all of a sudden there is someone with a shovel big enough and strong enough to dig to the depths required to get that crap out!
Mastery requires masterful experiences. Yes, I’m aware they say narcissists cannot heal. I’m not someone who believes that things can’t be healed. I might be wrong, but I have faith in the reason we all incarnate and if you are a twin flame and you come with strong narcissistic traits, I don’t believe you cannot heal. I believe it will be extremely difficult and you might fail, but I believe, it is not all about the twin displaying narcissistic tendencies. I believe it’s a two-way show.
The twin flame journey is about ascension and healing the deepest karmic patterns held within. The twin flame arrives like a teacher to the other twin (both of them) to help them dig deeper and deeper to get to the bottom of those wounds and dredge them out, so you can in due course become a pure and clear channel, a vessel of only love. That doesn’t mean the twin flame is already a master. It means they have to go the hard yards to get there. You do not become a master without going through a lot of very hard life challenges. You may not even make it this lifetime, but you will need to sit those tests and exams. You might fail, but there is always next lifetime.
Like any human, twin flames can exhibit a wide range of personality traits, including those associated with narcissism. Having narcissistic traits does not negate the possibility of a twin flame connection, but instead points out the lessons and the life challenges that are part of the journey of self-mastery.
The Twin Flame Mirror
If twin flames are mirrors of each other reflecting their love and light for each other, they can also reflect their shadow and their deepest unhealed wounds. This mirroring can sometimes manifest as difficult behaviors, including those that might be labeled as narcissistic. Both twins need to face their own issues in order to grow and evolve. This also does not mean that both twins will, and this again reinforces the fact that if one twin is a narcissist, they may not be able to heal in this lifetime. They are already facing their karma by being a narcissist and their life is difficult, unhappy and one of inner torture. The suffering they are already enduring, may make it very difficult to heal, but I do not believe impossible for all, it depends how far they are on the narcissistic spectrum.
Twin flames are on a path to becoming a “pure and clear channel, a vessel of only love” and this is filled with many challenges. It’s a journey that requires facing and overcoming many “hard life lessons”.
Imagine your twin flame appears to be a narcissist and then imagine the other twin flame and what they have chosen to learn, to see in that mirror. Maybe the other twin is so far on the other end of the scale and so deeply into unconditional love they are the only one who can help the narcissist heal. It’s a big job but maybe they chose that.
Remember that twin flames are here to achieve mastery. One twin needs to be a master to know how to handle the narcissist and the other twin chose to heal through narcissism. Is that not a path to mastery? What if the twin flame chose to come with narcissistic traits in order to push you into your mastery. What if they made that sacrifice? What if they came to push you into choosing you?
Who are we to judge?
We are also not guaranteed to complete our healing and grow into our mastery in one single lifetime. One or even both twins may need to incarnate again until the mastery is achieved.
Twin flames are not all the same, albeit there are many similarities on the twin flame journey, but there is no one-size-fits-all description. It’s a very intense path that will lead to immense personal and spiritual growth, and it is a very personal journey.
Narcissism, as a trait, is part of the human ego and can be present in varying degrees in everyone. It’s a spectrum, with some individuals exhibiting stronger narcissistic tendencies than others. When it comes to twin flames, these tendencies can be extremely challenging and may serve as a catalyst for growth and healing.
Think mastery.
The twin flame relationship is usually filled with intense emotions and experiences that push us forward spiritually. When one twin displays narcissistic traits, it can be a reflection of both their own inner work that needs to be done and the lessons that they are meant to teach their counterpart. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship is toxic although it very often is, or that the person isn’t a true twin flame. Instead, it may have been chosen as the opportunity for both individuals to confront their shadows.
The shadow is the parts of the self that are often hidden or buried.
The ego can very well manifest as narcissism, and in the twin flame journey, we are forced to face and integrate the disowned parts of oneself that are essential for personal growth and our spiritual ascension.
If one twin is displaying narcissistic behavior, it may be mirroring the other twin’s need to develop stronger boundaries, self-worth, or to heal from past traumas. The mirroring is not only about reflecting flaws but also about encouraging growth in the other twin.
Twin Flames Ascending Together
The ultimate goal for all twin flame connections is not about achieving the perfect romantic relationship but to assist each other in the ascension process. This means you have to rise above the ego, heal karmic wounds, and move towards a state of unconditional love. The challenges presented by narcissistic behaviors are definitely big obstacles to overcome on this path.
True mastery in the twin flame journey involves learning to love unconditionally. That means accepting the other twin as they are, flaws and all, while also working on yourself.
True mastery is about finding balance and harmony, even when faced with difficult traits like narcissism.
The twin flame journey doesn’t stop with finding each other. It’s a lifelong process of learning, healing, and growing. The presence of narcissistic traits in one or both twins is just one of the many challenges that may be encountered along the way.
The label of ‘narcissist’ is also often misused. Not everyone who exhibits self-centered traits has a narcissistic personality disorder, however, it is always advisable if the narcissistic traits are harming you in anyway, or interfering with your own healing journey, that you seek help and remove yourself from the situation to give both twins space to heal and reflect.
Ultimately, the twin flame journey is about ascension, both individually and together. It’s a healing journey, a path of greater self-discovery, where both twin flames must work on themselves, face their shadows, and strive toward higher levels of consciousness.
The twin flame connection is much more than just the reflection. Through the twin flame connection, they are connected not only at a soul level, but also at the level of the ego. There can therefore be a shared sense of pain experienced through the different filters of each twin.
All our patterns, fears and desires belong to the ego, that part of us that keeps us in separation consciousness. When twin flames come together, they both bring their egos into the relationship. This can create both harmony and chaos. But there is a shared element with that ego. It is the ego that lives in separation, it is the ego that runs or chases, it is the ego that experiences the pain.
The ego embodies fear and separation and therefore can block the unconditional love of the twin flame connection.
The twin flame mirror helps each twin identify and heal the parts of themselves that are out of alignment with love.
Twin flames can experience the pain of their twin through their own filter, in relation to their own beliefs and life experiences. So, while they share the pain, they will process it and understand it differently. This can create misunderstandings and conflict, but it can also lead to empathy and a deeper connection with each other once healing has taken place.
Twin flames must overcome the ego, it’s essential for their spiritual growth or they will never come into harmony and union.
It’s hard, but necessary to look at your own patterns because this is a shared journey that never goes away. No matter how hard you try, it’s like someone is always sitting on your shoulder, you can feel them and almost hear them right there with you all of the time.
I couldn’t write this post if I hadn’t gone through it myself. I wouldn’t be able to touch the topic from the deep knowing of experience that is necessary to be able to share the truth with others. It’s easy to go into blame and I have to admit, when I’m angry I can go there, but the more I heal, the more I can step back and look at it from a higher perspective. This does not mean that I want to step back in to another cycle. My twin flame has strong narcissistic traits and for my own well-being, I often have to remove myself and go no contact.
I trust in the journey and the twin flame journey is about choosing self-love, and coming learning unconditional love, not about sacrificial love.
The twin flame connection is a shared journey wading through the ego’s challenges to reach a state of union and unconditional love. The ego is part of the human experience and twin flames force each other to face not only their twin flames ego, but to face their own. We need to look at the patterns in our own lives to see the lessons our twin flame is trying to teach us.
Does it mean we will end up happily ever after with our twin flame once we heal our issues. No, it does not. Remember, twin flames are human too and we are not in control of whether our twin flame will choose to look at their shadow and heal it. Depending on what they incarnated with, their karma, their challenges they have had to go through and the wounds they have embodied, it may just be too hard for them to ever face.
Yes, Twin flames can transcend the ego, but it takes a lot of self-awareness and the willingness to “go there” and face their deepest wounds. And while the reward would be an amazing connection that can help to transform the lives of others, through them having attained higher unified degrees of consciousness there is no guarantee that one or even both twins will do the work required to get there.
Unconditional love means it’s ok if your twin flame chooses not to heal and transform. We are not living their life; we must follow our own empowered journey and find the peace required to achieve that. If your twin flame appears like narcissist or with strong narcissistic traits, it is not required of you to stay, it is required of you to find a safe place to heal your own wounds and look at what they are teaching you. This is about your mastery first and foremost. As challenging as this is, you may need to face difficult truths about yourself and the relationship.
In all relationships, especially one as intense as the twin flame connection, it’s vital to have healthy boundaries and look after yourself, first, it’s called Self-Love.
I certainly know about that as someone who is working a life lesson 22. Boundaries have been one of my biggest challenges but I’m finally learning them. I have my twin flame to thank for that, not that I’m likely to tell him any time soon.
Conscious Separation
Twin flames often don’t stay together, and then some twin flames find it difficult to not be together because they have already achieved significant degrees of inner union. However, there may still be unresolved lessons and wounds that are not healed. These buried issues can create a turbulent environment between the twin flames, making it difficult to maintain the harmony they may have already achieved. In this case you have to be “conscious” about the need to create separation. This “conscious separation” is a more healed way of dealing with such situations. You recognise that sometimes, physical and emotional distance is necessary to provide the space required for reflection and healing. This separation isn’t about ending the connection, because that is not possible with twin flames; Rather it is about nurturing it in a way that allows both individuals to continue with their own personal spiritual growth.
Inner union doesn’t mean all healing is complete, therefore it is important to create conscious separation so those wounds that are buried from past traumas, childhood experiences, or even past lives, can have the space needed to heal. Often these issues do not surface until twin flames have come together and even then, not until they feel safe enough to confront them.
Conscious separation creates the space needed for healing and allows each twin flame to process their emotions, understand their triggers, and work through their issues without the intensity of the other’s presence. It is a deliberate decision to take a step back from the intensity of the twin flame connection. It’s an act of love and respect for each other, acknowledging that healing is a personal journey that sometimes requires solitude.
Even when twin flames have reached physical union, their individual healing journeys continue. The physical presence of a twin flame can sometimes make it harder to focus on your own personal healing journey, because the tendency to merge and become “one” can overshadow the need for individuality and personal space.
Use conscious separation as a way to facilitate your own healing and the healing of your twin flame connection. Recognize that the path to true union sometimes requires taking a step back as the best way to move forward. A true twin flame connection can withstand these periods of separation for the greater good of both individual twin flames spiritual path.
Finding Balance and Harmony
The twin flame journey is ultimately about balance and harmony. It’s about finding balance and healing the chaos within and with each other while healing through the chaos you have created around you.
Twin flames must find a balance between needing time in solitude and the need to come together while continuing the learning journey. In other words, they need to find the balance between togetherness and separation and ultimately, they will find Oneness.
The twin flame journey is an eternal dance of coming together and moving apart on the path to returning to love, and ascension.
So, is your Twin Flame a Narcissist?
And going back to the subject of your twin flame possibly being a narcissist…. Twin flame journeys are already tumultuous, so it is even more important for you to find the space needed to heal, rest and rejuvenate. Take a step back and leave it up to the Divine to bring you back together when enough healing has taken place. Don’t run towards it, it will come to you in the perfect divine time.
Acknowledge the narcissistic traits so you know how to navigate the journey, but don’t label, because that is like setting a curse upon someone. And that doesn’t just go for twin flames. That goes for everyone!
Twin flame relationships as with all relationships should be based on mutual respect, love, and the desire to grow together. If you know for sure this is your twin flame, then you don’t need to worry. Your soul will never leave each other, and you can take all the time you need to heal knowing that when the healing is complete on both sides you will return to each other. If you are fearful of losing your twin flame, then you are not ready for a twin flame union.
Twin flames should never be co-dependent of each other. They should be empowered and confident on their own and with each other. A true twin flame connection transcends time and space, so if the connection is not a genuine twin flame connection, you will naturally drift away from each other on to new experiences.
When you are ready for twin flame union, there will be no fear of losing your twin flame. Fear about losing your twin flame, is simply a sign that you are not ready for the twin flame union. Focus on your own healing.
Twin flames are not meant to be co-dependent. They should be inspired and empowered on their own and with each other. Each flame should be illuminating their own path, as well as supporting the journey of the other, creating balance and harmony between unity and individuality. If this is not happening, then that might be the perfect time for conscious separation. Give each other the space to ignite your own flames again and when the time is right your will gravitate back to each other to create an even greater flame that ignites each other and helps to ignite others.
If your twin flame displays strong narcissistic traits, seek help from friends, family or professionals and do not become isolated. Focus on creating strong boundaries and consider separation for healing and reflection. Learn about narcissism, trauma bonds and toxic relationships and the true twin flame dynamic and do what it takes to find inner peace.
I hope you got something from reading this post and I wish infinite healing for you on your journey. Please connect with me if you would like some help on your journey.